SWTCW - Offend
by ScyrenaKenway0815
Summary: Ahsoka made a mistake. She hadn't hear at Anakin and the whole troop died on the battle field. Anakin is injured as well. He didn't want to see Ahsoka the first time. Ahsoka feel even more offend as she hear Anakin talking to Master Yoda about what happend. She think she lost the trust from everyone. She lost the contac to Anakin and everyone else in the Temple more and more...
1. Prolog

**Ahsoka's POV**

I know I had made a mistake. And just not a little mistake, okay for me is it not a mistake.  
My master, Anakin Skywalker, hadn't allowed me to go with Barris on a Padawan-Mission.  
But I had gone with her, without telling him.

We just had to deliver food, no big deal. I hadn't also write a note for him to tell him where I was, 'cause he would definatly follow me, bringing me back to the Temple. Wouldn't be the first time if he do that.

As Barris and I returned after a week, I tried not to speak with Anakin. I tried to go out of his way a little bit, but he soon found out.

_„Why didn't you tell me?! I almost died of worry!"_ he had said.

Now I sat on my bed in my room. The door was locked from outside. He said I have to stay inside until,...well. I have no idea. I hadn't listen to him that good. Whatever I stood up and looked out of the window.

It was raining. We have October, it rained almost every day. This weather make me depressed. I signed and walked back to the door. I laid my hand on the doorknob. I pressed it down and the door opened.

„What?" I said shocked to myself.

I sat here for now four hours, thinking the door is locked. I signed again and walked down to the Archives. Anakin is since I was captured by the Trandoshans and that on Mortis very overprotective. More than he usually do. It was going to annoy me.

I walked down to a shelf with informations over Bountyhunters. I have to study, even if I actually don't want to. I sat down in front of a computer. I have honestly no idea how long I sat there. I guess I fall alseep after mybe two hours.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked at the person and signed in relief as it wasn't Anakin.  
„Barris,..."  
„Hey, I thought we could eat something. They have cucumbers-salad today."  
„Well, if they have cucumbers-salad than I will definatly come with you."

I smiled and turned of the computer. We both walked down the corridors to the Canteen. She didn't talk, I as well. She seemed to think over something.

„Barris, I feel your impatient. You are the most patientest Jedi I know,...so what's wrong?"

She looked away and crossed her arms. I laid my hand on her shoulder and turned her to me.

„Please, Barris. Tell me what is troubling you?"  
„Nothing, I just thought about that mission..."  
„O-okay. We just delivered food, there is nothing to think about. Correct me if I am wrong."  
„It is nothing about the mission and what we did there, I jsut thought about the consequences for you."  
„You feeling bad 'cause of the consequences for me?"

She nodded. I now I will get consequences for what I have done, but I just helped a friend.

„There is nothing to be worry about. I just helped you, even my master can't say anything against helping friends."

I smiled. She looked at me and turned to walk on. I walked beside her, waiting for an answer, knowing it will maybe not come. But than.

„If you say this so..."  
„Let's forget that topic. I am so hungry..."

_After sitting four hours in my room... - _I added as thought.

We entered the Canteen. Some other Padawans sat at the tables. Telling stories. I heard laughing younglings. I walked with Barris over to the food counter. I took a full plate cucumbers-salad and walked to a free table.

Barris and I sat there eating out salad, without talking. Suddenly someone talked from behind to me.  
„Hey, I thought you would stay at your room."  
It was a male, but it wasn't Anakin.

I turned around. As I saw who it was I rolled my eyes ant turned back to my food.  
He sat down beside me.  
„Don't look so 'soky."  
„Stop calling me that Drake."  
„No I won't my 'soky."

At the moment he said that he touched my lekku. I immediatly graped him with the Force and pressed him agains the wall.

**Anakin's POV**

I entered the Canteen and saw that Ahsoka hold Drake with the Force against the wall.

„Don't ever touch me there again, I dare you..."  
„Ahsoka! Let him go, **now**."

She looked at me and let go of Drake, who immediatly left the room. I didn't noticed my view. I looked angry at her and she didn't even try to look further at me as I walked to her.  
She sat down and eat her cucumbers-salad. I sat down beside her, I short said _'hello'_ to Barris.

„Ahsoka. What happend? What did Drake that you pressed him against the wall?"

She answered and looked still at her food. Barris looked at me than back at Ahsoka. I signed and wanted to say it again as she put down her fork and moaned annoyed.

„He touched me."  
„You did it 'cause he touched you?"

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her. She threw slightly the fork on the now empty plate and turned to me. I could tell she was complety annoyed of the situation right now.

„He touched my Lekku."

With that she took her plate and brought it back. I looked at Barris and she nodded. I signed and walked after Ahsoka. She ignored me and walked the corridor down to the Hangar. I guess she wanted to repair her star-fighter with R7.

„Why are you following me?"

She turned around to me and crossed her arms.

„I just wanted to tell you the council has a mission for us."  
„So you still want to have me with you?"  
„Why wouldn't I?

She bit on her lip.  
„I prepare the gunship."

With that she entered the Hangar. How could she think about I wouldn't want her with me? Maybe 'cause I had let her stay in her quarter for four hours. I signed and looked one more time at her as she walked around a corner. I shook my head and walked back to the council, accepting the mission.


	2. Making a Mistake

**Ahsoka's POV**

The gunship landed on a strange planet. I had no idea on what planet. All I know was that it is a desert planet. It wasn't Tatooine, that's for sure.

„Nice planet."  
„Well, it's better than Tatooine."

I know this planet remembered him on his mother. I know they were slaves, but what happend to hear after he had left her? He said once he didn't want to talk about it, but I guess he will tell it me. I hoped it.

Rex wasn't this time with us. I don't know why, but I had the feeling that this mission will be the worst ever. I looked up at Anakin.

„What do we actually have to do?"  
„We just have to hold our positiones when the Grievous arrives."  
„Grievous id coming?"

He nodded. That scared a little bit. I mean Anakin and I could fight against him, but … I was cut out of my thoughts as I clonse screamed.

„Look out!"

I looked up and saw five rakets flying towards us. I was about to jump to the side as Anakin graped me and fall with me to the ground. The raket flew over our heads, turning and coming back. We stood up again.

I used the force and let a rekat hitting the ground in front of us. Anakin was surprised. I had no idea why. I used the force and let the other once crashed with themselfs.

„Wow, good job Ahsoka."

Maybe this mission wasn't so bad as I thought. The sun stopped shining down on us. I looked up and saw the giant battle ship above us. More than hundred battle droids, fall to the ground and holding the weapons on to us.

„Master, I have plan."  
„Well let's hear it."  
„There is no time to explain. I just need some clones."  
„But -" he was cut off as I had gathered the clones already and ran towards the droids.

Anakin looked in horror as we ran exactly into them. Anakin called me back, but I ran. The droids didn't even try to shout at us. I looked back and saw Anakin fighting for his life. I couldn't move for maybe 30 sceonds. I saw the clones falling to the ground. Dead.

I looked over to Anakin again. One droid shut at his shoulder and Anakin let his lightsaber fall. I don't know what I was doing, but I jumped slightly into the air and gathered the force around me. I let it go in a big _Force-Wave_, which turned the droids around me into ashes.

I touched the ground and collabsed. All droids where ashes now. The giant battle ship had left. I watched again over to Anakin. He looked disappointed at me, but I saw his eyes went wide as I fall unconscious.

**Anakin's POV**

My eyes went wide as I saw her collabsing to the ground I wanted to stand up, but I couldn't. A few droids hat shut at my leg. I couldn't walk with it.

I remembered the big Force_-Wave_ Ahsoka had made. Not even Master Windu could do that. I saw a few gunships flying down to us. Now I realized the dead clones everywhere.

What plan had had Ahsoka? I fall unconscious as well, as a clone gave me a syringe.

-

I waked up in the hospital wing in the Temple. I felt the pain in my leg was gone. I heard two people talking. I was sure it was Ahsoka and Obi-Wan.

„You were reckless little one."  
„I know and I am sorry for that. I- I don't know what happend with me... I-I..."  
_  
_I guess she nodded I was awake and looked at me.

„I-I should go..."

She left the hospital wing with fast steps. I looked at Obi-Wan who signed. He walked over to the bed, on which I was laying.

„Is she alright?"  
„Yes. Is it true she did that _Force-Wave_?"

I nodded. Obi-Wan looked slightly shoked. I told him about what happend.

**Ahsoka's POV**

I walked down the corridor. I looked at the ground. Why had I done that? It had been a mistake. I had made a mistake.

I couldn't face Anakin right now. I still hace the picture in my face where he looked disappointed at me. His view was hurting me. I wrapped my arms slightly around mysef as I entered the Canteen.

It had been my fault that the clones had died. I signed and I actually wanted just to go through the canteen, not talkin got anyone.

„Hey kid."

I turned around and saw that it was Rex.

„Hey Rex...How are you doing?"  
„Well better as some of my brothers."  
„Thanks."

He noticed my view. It had hurt. He had no idea how that had hurt.  
„I'm sorry I didn't mean it.. -"  
„You mean it like you said it."

I turned around. I didn't want him to see me crying. I felt the burning tears on my cheeks as I ran out of the canteen. I heard him calling, but I ran towards my room. I slamped the door behind me and jumped on my bed.

I cried. I had killed his brothers. I had let Anakin get injured... I had made the worst mistake ever!  
I thought further about what happend. I wanted to stop crying, but in the end I cryied myself softly into sleep.


	3. Ignored

**Ahsoka's POV**

I stared at my food. I heard my stomach grumbled. I was hungry, but I just couldn't eat something. Every time I hold up the fork to my mouth, I couldn't open my mouth. I just couldn't. The only thing I could do was drinking, but only water.

I looked around, the canteen was empty. Normally would there sit other clones, but they are … dead now, because of me. I signed and stood up. The canteen droid shouted after me, that I should bring the plate to him. But I didn't care and left the canteen.

I felt tired. I hadn't sleep well, since these Clones died 'cause of me. It was my fault. Everybody know that. I thought Anakin would come and talk to me, but he didn't. The only person who talked to me was Drake. He bothered me.

He always remembered me at my faults. He laughed about me. He told me I should have died and not these clones. The clones had been his friends, and I had killed them. Every night I ask myself.

_Do I have a reason to be still here? Could Rex and my Master forgive me?_

But I actually know the answer to my questions, but I just don't want to hear them. It was now a week ago that they have died. I still remeber the time when they clones had sat in the canteen laughing and telling jockes. Rex by them.

I didn't noticed that my feed brought me to the quarters. I actually didn't want to go there. Anakin would probably be there and I couldn't face him. The disappointment in his eyes was too much for me.

I stopped in front of the door. As I wanted to open the door it already did. My master ran into me with a data-ped in his hands. I fall backwards.

„Sorry, Padawan."

He passed me without looking back. Two weeks ago he would help me up, but now … He called me in the last time just _Padawan _or if he had better mood, which was not often occurred, _Ahsoka_. I had never heard him calling me _Snips_ again. I am sure he will never do it again.

I stood up and walked into my room. I felt a burning tear rolling down my face. I swiped it away. I looked at the reflection in the mirrow. I was pale at my face and thinner as I actually am. I wouldn't eat something if it don't get better here.

I had always that problem that I didn't eat that much. I hadn't got sick before, but now? I left my room and picked up an apple. Maybe I could it it without vomitting at at the end.

I looked over to the door. I couldn't stop myself by crying again. He hadn't look up from his data-ped, but I had felt his disappointment.

I had let him down before, he had been disappointed before, but it wasn't the same disappointment as now. It hurt me more to see and to feel the disappointment as to be called just Padawan or to be ignored.

I now it sounds crazy, but I missed to be called _Snips_ from him. I walked over in my room. Something shined in my eye. I turned to it and saw a little sharp thing, which reflected the sunlight. I walked over to it and took it and hold it in my open hand.

It seemed to be a part of a metal knife. I don't remeber that a knife had fallen down in my room. Suddenly someone knocked at the door. I flinched and closed my hand and looked over to the closed door.

_„Ahsoka, are you in there?" _

I needed a few mintues before I find out who it was. It wasn't Barris, she ignored me as well.

„Padmè, is it you?"  
_„Yes. I thought we can talk a little bit."_

„I'm not in the mood to talk..."  
_„Please, Ahsoka let me in."_

Nobody had even tried to talk to me or to join me by eating or training. I was confused. I wanted to talk, but then not.

„Can we talk sometime else? I'm really busy right now."  
_„Oh, I understand. Tell me when you have time."_

I tear rolled down my face as I heard the sadness in her voice. Now I had also disappointed her. She even don't know what had happend. It is better when she don't know it. If I see the same disappointment in _her _eyes as well … I couldn't take it.

She is like a mother I never had, but … I heard her walking away. Suddenly I heard a male voice. I never had here that voice so soft in the last time. I swallowed as I realized who it was.

_„Padmè, what are you doing here?"  
„Just meeting your Padawan, Master Skywalker."_

I heard Anakin signing. I heard he left with Padmè the dorm. I know they re married, but I won't tell them that I know about themm.

Anakin will definatly tell Padmè what had happend. I looked down again on my hand and opened my hand. Padmè will never talk to me again, after Anakin had tell her …  
I heard her gasping. Now she now.

I took off the glove, which reached over my arm and olf the little sharp thing on my skin. I felt immediatly the disappointment from Anakin and Padmè in me. The feeling became weaker as I made a scratch in my skin with the little sharp thing.

I took the glove on, not carrying of the scratch bleed or not. I opened my door and wanted to leave the dorm. I stopped.

Was Anakin and Padmè still there or are they gone? I just hoped they're gone. I opened the door and – who could believe it – crashed into the back from Anakin, again. I fall backwards. I thought I had to stand up again alone, but Padmè helped me.

Before I could go laid Anakin a hand on my shoulder and I winced and turned to him.

„The council want to talk to you."

I nodded and he let go off me and I left without another word. I felt their views on my back. All of them. Also the views of the other Padawans I passed on the way to the council. I was afraid about what they will say. I felt the scratch burning under my glove.

-

I blowed the door behind me. Ignoring Anakin, who screamed at me. I slided the door down, crying.  
I pulled my legs to my chest and restet my face in them. I cried so heavy that I was sure Anakin could hear it.

Even if he do. He just screamed further at me. But I won't tell him what they had said. Another week doing nothing, annoying myself and hanging around, being ignored … Can it be worse?


	4. Visions and Friends

**Ahsoka's POV**

Do I had to ask? Of course it could be worse, but did it have to be?  
I had the order to look over a group of youngling for the week, 'caus etheir master isn't at them Temple.

Fortunatly it was the group with who I build their lightsabers. I looked over to Katoonie. They were meditating. I rested my head in my hand and looked from one to another Youngling. I signed and I guess Katoonie had heard it.

„Are you okay?" she asked.  
„Yes, I am. Just train meditating."

She closed her eyes.

„Maybe you should try it to. I can sence your frustration."

I swallowed. I hadn't care about if they feel what I feel 'cause nobody even cared about me. But when a Youngling could feel it.

I sat down. Legged. I rested my hands on my legs and closed my eyes. I winced as I felt that I would get a vision, I wasn't afraid just curious.

_I felt confused. I was in the Temple, but everything seemed….different. There weren't the usual Padawans and younglings running around the halls, or the Knights and Masters in the war room. I decided to go to the Council and ask what was going on._

_As I stood outside the Chambers, I suddenly heard voices. One I immediately recognized – Yoda. The other it took me a while to realize it was Anakin. I was about to enter, when they began talking again._

_"Sure about this, are you, Skywalker?" Yoda's voice sounded concerned….sad._

_"I'm sure, Master Yoda. I know I said that I thought she could be trained. But I can't. She isn't willing to learn."_

_My heart dropped into my stomach as I remained with her ears pressed against the Council Chamber's doors, my heart breaking. He wanted to bring me back to the Temple?_

_Yoda's voice popped up. "Unwilling to do this, I am. Yet, Skywalker, certain, if you are, than perhaps…"_

_"Master Yoda, I'm pleading with you to take her back. I no longer want her. She's irresponsible, rude, arrogant, defiant, and she's certainly not learning anything." There was a pause as he took his breath. "I don't even think she should be ranked as 'Padawan' any longer…"_

_I sank to the ground, my body shaking, my eyes moist. I didn't want to hear anymore. He was practically begging Yoda to send me back. And not even to be a Padawan! I grabbed the wall as if it were my lifeline to keep me from breaking down. Maybe it was…_

_"NO!"_

My eyes snapped open. My breathing was fast and my eyes need a little bit longer to realize where I was. Katonnie looked with big eyes at me.

„Are you okay?"  
„Yes... continue training, I need some fresh air."

I stood up and left the room not carrying that all Younglings looked at me. I ran trough the temple until I reached the south Plattform. I stopped at the edge of it. I looked around.

I sat down with my legs over the edge and watched the sunset. I signed. My vision has to be real, it was so clear. Master Plo had once said.

_„If a vision is so clear as it would really happen, it is rarely untrue."_

This vision has been to real. Would my master really do that? I disappointed him and I guess I have to pay for that. I signed and looked at the sun.

I heard someone walking over to me. She sat down beside me. I looked at my side and saw Sarah. It was impossible. She was dead. Grievous had killed her a year ago. She must be a part from my memorie which I transformerd with the force into a ghost. She watched with me the sunset.

„You are afraid, aren't you?" she asked.  
„I-I have no idea how to handle the situation. Normally Anakin or someone esle is with me, helping me, but now..."

I looked to her. I hadn't been able to help her a year ago. I still miss her. She was my closest friend, actually my only one.

„I am sure you get through this … You always could do that good."  
„Sarah, I-I just want to turn the time back. Even to save you."  
„Don't blame yourself for it, Ahsoka. Our life gives us chances to show that we are ready to life, that we are ready to do what is right, but when you give up yourself, your life will give up you as well."  
„I miss you."  
„I know you do. But I will always be there."

I tear rolled down my cheek as her ghost dissapeared with the cold wind. I looked at the sunset. She was right. We had the chance to make the best out of our lifes. To _life_ them. It is our choice, do we stand up when the life brings us to fall, or do we lay on the ground.

**Anakin's POV**

I saw her sitting at the edge of the plattform. She turned her head to her side and said something. I was to far away to hear what she said, but I was sure she talked to Sarah.

She only can transform the Sarah in her memory into a ghost when she feels alone and upset. Maybe I've done the wrong thing.

I should give her a chance. I just hope she will take it this time. I watched with her the sunset, until I signed and walked down the corridor. Lost in thoughts.


	5. Nightmares

**Ahsoka's POV**

****I actually thought our dispute between my master and me had ended, but obviously not. We had a mission otgether and I had done everthing right. We had jocked at the evening, as the Chancellor had called Anakin to him.

After that meeting he had changed completly. He ignored me as I ask him, what he had wanted. Okay that had been normal, but he ignored me now for a week. I just followed him without saying anything.

I walked through the temple. Ignoring the insults of the other Padawans. I had often tried to ask my master what is wrong, but he ignored me or snapped at me. He said really unnice words.

Last time he had called me _pathetic_. Well, I am, or not? I have no idea how to think about myself or the others. I was pretty bored. All I had to do was cleaning up the Archives and checking it.

Since all were acting like this I did, what I actually promised myself not to do anymore. Self-harming. I still had the little sharp thing in my room. It was under my pillow. I just used it after days where I heard Anakin talking about me.

Sometimes I had the feeling he tried to talk as loud as he could that I could understand him through the wall. Every word of it, and it hurt. It hurt more than anyone could ever imagine.

-

Two months now. Not speaking for two months. I had often think about going to Padmè, but maybe today was a better day. Today was my birhtday. My master never forget my birthday. I'm _17_ now.

I had never been _so_ wrong. He ignored me the whole day. He had _always_ given me something or saying something nice. Even in the middle of a battle he had jumped to my side and had said.  
_"Happy Birthday, Snips." _

A singel tear escaped my eyes at this wonderful memory. I wiped it away immediately. The only thing he had said today was in a cold ton.  
_"Make sure you do you work."_

He had said it so angry and grimly I had fear he could beat me if I say something against it, or just say something. How _destroyed_ friendship that I have the fear he _could_ beat me?! I'm just … Yes. I'm scared. Scared of his actions.

He shouted often at me in the last time. I just wish he would tell me what I've done wrong, 'cause I have no idea. He knows that I don't trust the Chancellor and that will never change.

I had done all work I had to do and also some things which were actually not my job. Now I sat in front of the window in my room. Watching the rain rolling down the window. Only a month to Christmas. I just hope everything get's better than.

I don't like to argue without knowing why we do it. I am just to scared to ask. I sighed and tried to hold back the tears in my watering eyes. Maybe he was just stressed. How deep am I that I try to find escapes to the fact that he _don't _care about me, anymore?

A water drop rolled down the window at the same time rolled a tear down on my cheek. My cheeks are burning under the pain-reflecting tears. I looked at the clock. 11PM. A hour left to the next day. Maybe he'll come later. He wouldn't forget my birthday, wouldn't he?

I sighed and walked over to me bed and threw myself on it. I turned on my side and stared out of the window. A part of me wanted to go to my master and ask what I had done. Another part was sure he had his reasons. The last part told me that I disorve to be _pushed_ away.

It was now in the middle of the night, maybe a few hours later. I can't tell. I had thrown the little Alarm-clock across the room as it had beeped at 12PM. He still hasn't meet me or even tried to. All I know now is that I'm not important to him, anymore.

I know he had walked into his room three hours ago. I stood up from my bed and walked over to the door. I opened it and saw over to the closed door of my master. I felt the scratches under my gloves. They burnt and it seemed like they start to bleed.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the door of my master. The scartches began to burn more and more. I looked down and saw blood rinning down from my arm (under the glove) over my hand to my finger tips. Dropping down to the ground. It became more and more how nearer I was to his door.

I stopped in front of his door. Raised the arm which wasn't bleeding so hard. I hold it just a few cm away from the button to open the door. I couldn't open the door. I just couldn't. I couldn't face _him._

I turned around and sighed. I winced as a Lightning was right in front of the window in the living room. I walked with fast steps back to my room and slamped the door behind me. Not caring if it was loud or not.

I had actually no idea why I had slammped it. I often felt rage in the last time, but it scared me more that I honestly couldn't control it. Normally my master would help me by something like this, but in this situation … He was obviously the reason for it.

I winced again as I heard the loudest thunder I had ever heard, it was like something would bang, for example a bomb. I actually had never been afraid of thunderstorms. Okay as I was young, but my mother told me with her soft voice.

_"Everything is alright, my little girl. I'm here. As long as I'm here, nobody and nothing can hurt you."_

Now was she gone. She couldn't protect me anymore. She died as the seperatist attacked our little village. I had been a half year Anakin's Padawan. In the night after her death had been a very big thunderstorm on Coruscant.

That had been the second night where I had been afraid of thunderstorms. Anakin had noticed how afraid I was over the force and had come in my room. He had hold me in his arms like my mother had and told me.

_"It's okay, Snips. Everything is alright. I'm here."_

I wished he would do now the same thing. Comeing over to me telling me he was there for me, but he wouldn't. Not in this situation. Okay in the night where he had come to me, we had a big dispute, but all of it was washed away. All Fears as he said: _"I'm here."_

I walked with fast steps over to my bed, ignoring the lighning and climped under the blanket. Pulling the pillow over my head, trying not to hear the thunder, but I did. It had been so loud as the one before. I winced by every thunder and lightning. When will this nightmare stop?


	6. Happy Christmas ?

**And again people. This story happaned real. So be nice, and you know. Pls. Review, but only if you liked the story.**

**Ahsoka's POV**

It was Christmas morning. I had been the whole night away. Okay I was actually all nights awake. I fall alseep sometimes as I had to work. Then when my so called _Master_ came to me and told me threw me right out of my sleep, you know.

I had prayed the whole night and the nighst before that Anakin would do or say something nice to me today, but no. I thought he'll forgive me for whatever I've done. Even if it is just for a day or a few hours.

I feel like I'm beeing torn. There is the _'fighting'_ part at me, and the _'give up' _part. I looked out of the window. A little bit snow laid outside on the houses and on the streets. There isn't often snow on Coruscant.

I sighed and stood up. My mouth was dry and my stomach empty. I hadn't eat much lately. Actually nothing. I looked at my reflection in the mirrow. I had lost weight again and not less. You could see at some parts of my body, my bones.

I was pale in my face and I saw the blue circels under my eyes. I hadn't really sleep lately. I just couldn't fall alseep. I saw over and over again that Anakin sent me back to the Temple. Giving me away …

_

It was the worst day ever! Anakin had ignored me completely. He also tried to stay out of my way as best as he could. Wherever I was. It hurt to see him trying to stay away from me. He actually never do that. What had the Chancellor told him?

I set in the Archives on a chair beside a table. My head rested on my arm which laid on the table. I stared straight. I heard some Padawans laughing. I guess they go on the Christmas Party. They have fun. They have each other and I? Who do I have?

One of the Padawan's looked over to me. It was Barris. She walked over to me, slowly. I sighed nd looked up at her as she stood in front of me.

"Don't you go on the party?"  
"No, Barris. I'm sorry."  
"Are you going to do something with your master, like last year?"

I gasped quietly as I remembered the last year. We had jocked around, making some jokes with other and all this stuff. Giving presents. My eyes were watering, but either Barris ignored it or didn't noticed it.

"No."  
"Oh, okay. See you than."

She walked back to the other and talked to them. They looked at me and laughed. Great now also she laughes about me, my actually friend.

I remebered a person who I could actually talk to. Maybe she understands me and not ignores me or laugh at me. I sighed and stood up. I made my way to the dorm I was sharing with my master. I passed some happy Padawans. How I hate to see _happy_ people, when I'm _definatly_ not happy.

I reached the dorm. I opened the door and - who could belive it – my master wasn't here. Actually it was good that he wasn't here so he won't notice I'm gone. Well I guess he would even not notice when I'm right beside him.

I entered my room and put all I needed for some weeks outside the Temple, away from _him_ into my case which laid under my bed. I saw something laying on my little table beside my bed. It was a chain.

A chain with a turtel. I had got it from Anakin last year to my birthday 'cause he had called me often _turtel_ as I was very slowly and often to late. I graped it and put it around my neck. It was woodcarved.

I sighed and closed my case. I stood with it in my left hand up and left my room. I saw a few papers and a pen. I really thought about writing a note, but I didn't. If he trys to find me, than he shows he cares, if not … Well, than I have honestly no idea what to do.

I took the keys for my speeder and left the dorm. I walked in the direction of the Hanger. Luckely were all Padawans at the party so nobody would see me leaving. I guess some time out of the temple would be good for me.

I put the case on the back of the speeder and climped on it. I sighed and started the engine. I looked into the cold winter night. I took a deep breath and drove out of the hanger, leaving the pain behind me, or even trying to.

**Padmè's POV**

I was reading a book as I heard someone knocked on the door. Who could that be in the middle of Christmas-night? It couldn't be Anakin. He had to work.

I closed the book and walked over to the door. I opened slowly the door. I was surprised as I saw a famillia person in fron of me. She hold a case in her left hand.

I saw blue circels under her eyes. Her eyes had changes. They were no longer the spakeling in them. They were grey. No longer colour in them. She was pale and thin. It seemed like she lost weight, again. She looked up at me and said quietly.

"Can I stay a few days by you?"


End file.
